Scouting Report: The Wobblies

The Wobblies, consisting of Ian Malinowski and Kelly Scherwitzki took their name because, like the Industrial Workers of the World, they’re still throwing strikes in the third inning. They flash both stellar pitching and energetic, dedicated fielding, but have difficulty putting it all together in any given inning. Moreover, experts agree that they lack the necessary offensive firepower to compete with the class of the PMRNHDWBL.

Scherwitzki bears the distinction of being the only female founding member of the PMRNHDWBL. She is a high-contact singles hitter with developing plate discipline, though she still chases the occasional high pitch. Teams have taken to playing the defense up against her, but Scherwitzki, undeterred, continues to lance ground balls through the middle, viewing the up-shift simply as an opportunity to turn those singles into doubles.

As a pitcher, Scherwitzki offers a steady diet of changeups. She has above average control, limiting walks and trusting the defense behind her to make plays on popups. Batters do not fear Scherwitzki, but perhaps they should. She has no problem with pitching high and inside, and has hit Tyler Roe in the head numerous times in preseason games. Some (communist) analysts believe that by the end of the season, the stats will show Scherwitzki to be the definition of a league average pitcher.

Ian "The Wilting Rose"Malinowski earned his nickname for the way opposing batters wilt before his superb stuff. Also, he's just generally a classy and artistic individual. Malinowski throws a wide assortment of pitches, but his bread and butter is a hard slider that starts out behind the batter and breaks back into the strike zone. Once he gets to a two strike count, Malinowski leans on his wide assortment of out pitches, including sliders off the outside edge, a sidearm sinker, a maximum effort fastball, and changeups on the high inside corner. When Malinowski falls behind in the count, he tends to lean on a high curve, backdoor splitters and screw balls, and changeups. Lastly, once hitters start to get a read on Malinowski's pattern of pitches, he will switch to sidearm risers and sinkers for a batter or two. The Wilting Rose figures to challenge Fouche for the league Cy Young award.

As a batter, Malinowski is the consummate leadoff hitter. He works the count, being stingy with his swings to the point where he often takes pitches right down the middle if he doesn't feel like he can drive the ball. (Because of this, he leads the league in strikes taken through the hole.) [No, that's not what she said.] Malinowski displays decent contact skills, especially on pitches high and away, but he only really possesses doubles power. In fact, Malinowski has never yet hit a home run.

With quality pitching and some BABIP luck, The Wobblies could be a good team. Their major concern, however, is the offense. Their lineup consists entirely of leadoff hitters, and will get plenty of men on base. Will they be able to drive them in?