Scouting Report: Stiff Bats and Hollow Balls

Stiff Bats and Hollow Balls are about as offensive as they come. Their name is (over)sexed and their bats are juiced. With improved control they could be a real contender. Think of them as the White Sox from one year ago - high quality sluggers combined with starting pitching that might pull it together on any given day, but can also give up a crooked number if their BABIP luck drops.

Mild mannered Kellan Sqire is perhaps the most nerve wracking player in the league to pitch against. He uses a relaxed stance with a smooth swing that wiffle ball scouts agree suggests prior baseball experience. Nearly everything he puts in play goes for a high-arching, majestic home run. The saving grace from the pitcher's perspective is that he pulls the ball foul much more often than he actually puts it in play. He has difficulty slowing his swing up enough to hit a changeup, and he can be made to chase pitches out of the zone both high and outside.

As for his pitching, Squire's obvious athleticism and ball skills have yet to translate into productivity on the mound. He's shown a willingness to experiment with different types of pitches, but doesn't throw very hard or with great command. If something clicks and Squire finds his pitching identity, the rest of the league could be in trouble.

Matt Hunter, the non-PMRN member of Stiff Bats and Hollow Balls, is an imported player from a strange foreign league where only home runs count as hits. There is currently no reliable translation from his former league in Derby, England to our league in Tallahassee, FL, but anyone can see that the power is legit. Hunter uses a unique one handed swing to generate tremendous power, hitting moonshot home runs and scorching tripples. Opponents are advised never to give him pitches on the outside half of the plate, or even within two or so feet of the plate on the outside. He's susceptible to being jammed with splitters and screw balls, and if you want to throw a slider, make sure it's way outside. Hunter is an aggressive swinger and just might go for it.

As for Hunter's pitching, he mixes and matches changeups, fastballs, the occasional slider, and even some underhanded offerings, with very inconsistent results. If I had to make a comparison to a hardball player, however, I would say that Hunter resembles Curt Schilling, at least in terms of insistent self-promotion of his blog.